Are you dwelling on the past?

Are you dwelling on the past?

Hello love, I don’t know about you, but I got to a point where I was sick and tired of reading self-help books, spending hours in psychotherapy, and analyzing my past to figure out why I was so messed up.

Sound familiar?

Then watch my short little clip where I tell you why it’s a waste of time to keep analyzing your past, and what to do instead!

Let me know your thoughts in the comments below!

Happy Mother’s Day – and every day is mother’s day!

Happy Mother’s Day – and every day is mother’s day!

Dear Mama,

Happy Mother’s day!!!

I have a tiny little bit of a prejudice about Mother’s Day.  I believe that we should celebrate the momentous task of motherhood every day – not with flowers and chocolate, but with acknowledging ourselves, by giving ourselves breaks, by attending to self care.

Here is a blog post I wrote about this a couple of years ago, where I also talk about the shitty myth of martyrdom, where we women thing we need to sacrifice our own needs for the needs of our family.

Click here to read it.  Plus, there are baby goat pictures, so how could you resist?

My personal invitation to you – a dream come true!

My personal invitation to you – a dream come true!

Today I want to tell you about something very exciting and deep, a dream come true for me, and it’s centered around relaxation, rejuvenation, nourishing, soul-searching, transforming your life, connecting with your soul and other women, and nature.

I want to invite you to my first-ever “Nourish Your Soul Retreat” for women at our beautiful homestead. (Click here to go to the website to find out more)

 

Imagine this:

 

  • Relax in a hot tub with a mountain view, tucked under a giant cedar tree, sipping a complementary glass of wine (or raw goat milk, or kombucha, or herbal tea – you pick…)
  • Smell the home-cooked, fresh, organic dinner prepared for you, knowing that you will eat healthy, yummy food to nourish your body, and you don’t have to clean up a single dish!
  • Rejuvenate your soul and spirit, while you bury your toes in the warm sand at a wild river with snow capped mountains in the distance and spawning salmon in the water
  • Release old painful patterns in several letting-go rituals with a small group of women you trust
  • Be guided by an experienced transformational life coach and a licensed psychotherapist to transform your life and evolve it so you can flourish and thrive in life


I’m partnering up with my best friend, Lindsay Huettman, a licensed psychotherapist and nature guide.  She is an amazing, talented soul who has lots of experience guiding people into the depths of where they want to go.

 

In our weekend retreat at our beautiful homestead close to the North Cascades wilderness , you will deeply connect with your own soul, with nature, and with a small group of like-minded women who are also committed to their personal growth and self-actualization.

 

Is this retreat for you?

 

 

If you are stressed out, feel disconnected from nature and your own soul, crave the company of excellent women, then this retreat is for you.


We will not only pamper you with amazing food and gorgeous scenery, but also engage in practices and gentle rituals to help you break through old patterns. This will help you fully flourish in your life.


We will explore an old pattern in your life that repeats over and over again (for example putting yourself last, giving your power away to others, constantly getting sick, not reaching your highest potentials). You will gain crystal clear clarity.


You will free up energy, improve your health, lighten your spirit, connect with a soul tribe of sisters, so that you can move forward in your life to be the best person you can be.


We will name and start to transform the false beliefs that are at the center of this pattern. You will walk away with proven tools you can use for your whole life.


We will do this through one-on-one coaching, group work, rituals, exercises in nature, journaling, and more. You will experience deep support and encouragement.


There will be plenty of time to be alone as well. Bring a journal, your knitting, a good book. This is all about nourishing yourself on all levels: emotional, physical, mental and spiritual.
You deserve to be pampered and nourished.You deserve this time to concentrate on yourself.You will go back home with a new perspective.

If you are interested, head on over to my website to find out more information or to register if you are ready right now!

I don’t know yet how many people might be interested in this, so if you are, you might want to register asap.  The retreat has limited space available and might fill up very fast, especially at our great first launch price!

PS: If you know a woman who might love to come, would you mind sharing this via e-mail or social media?

Are you under a dark cloud, too?

Are you under a dark cloud, too?

Most of the people I know who are honest enough to admit it told me they’ve had an impossibly shitty week.  Did you have an impossibly shitty week?

I did.

There’s nothing wrong about a stretch of bad days, of course.  We all have ’em.  No matter what kind of  a happy face someone puts on, and however much you think they have their lives all neat and together, they still deal with stuff.  We all have bad days.

The trick is to recognize how we react to these bad stretches.

When I felt a black cloud descend over me a few days ago, I got scared and immediately said to myself, “You shouldn’t feel this way. You know better.  Don’t give into this.”

Fortunately, I recognized this voice as not very nice, and so I did what I tell my coaching clients all the time.  I recognized the tightness in my gut and took a nice deep breath, then another.  And then another.  I said to myself, “I’m sorry I’m should-ing on you, honey.  Tell me, how are you feeling and what do you need?”

A flood of emotions came up.  Overwhelmed.  Tired.  I need a break from the kids.  I need to spend some quality time with my husband.  My dark cloud feelings had been a signal to tell me that I was out of balance.

When I was able to witness my feelings and needs from a compassionate, sane perspective, the dark cloud lifted.  A little.

 

So I want to ask you this: How are you talking to yourself?  How do you relate to your own feelings that you label as difficult?  Do you shut them down?  Tell yourself you shouldn’t feel this way?  Push through them by distracting yourself with food, internet, TV, work?  Are you stuffing your feelings, belittling yourself for feeling the way you do, judging yourself harshly?

How’s that working for you?

Probably not very well, at least not in the long term.  I’m an expert in this, since pushing through, stuffing down and criticizing myself were my number one coping strategies for most of my life.  This way of showing up with myself created depression and adrenal burn-out, and let me tell you: it wasn’t pretty.

Fortunately, I learned to recognize the signs of being mean to myself and what this does to my body, mind and spirit.  Although I still go through dark phases, I come through them faster, and they are less severe.

One thing I know: I’m a good mother and a good friend.  I’m a Mama Bear, and when I learned to turn that mothering side towards myself, towards the younger self inside of me, things really shifted in a big way.  When I take all the compassion I show for others and turn it towards myself, a create a safe container for my feelings – good ones and “bad” ones.

That’s where it’s at, Mama.

If you need help with this, contact me for a free coaching session.  You are not alone, you can 100 percent change your old patterns, and you can transform the mean way you talk to yourself.  I promise!

 

Book a free, no-obligation 45-minutes discovery session on the phone or skype to see how I can help you achieve your intentions and transform you life

6 + 8 =

Mothering isn’t for the faint of heart

Mothering isn’t for the faint of heart

I picked up the phone at 3 am, while Easter morning hadn’t dawned yet, instantly awake.  All I heard on the other end was panting.  Then a pain-strangled voice: “It’s time for you to come.”

So I stumbled my way out of the dark bedroom where my husband softly snored, got into the car and navigated the primitive, windy, very dark road to my friend’s house.  Her long-awaited phone call had summoned me in the middle of the night, so I could support her in labor and giving birth.

Just as I did with all my three children, my friend chose to give birth at home. We live at the edge of the wilderness, with the closest hospital an hour away, so it was extra important to have an experienced midwife and a birthing assistant (me!) to help. The midwife was the same midwife that delivered my own three children, and it was amazing to be present at this birth, where I didn’t do all the heavy lifting (or should I say pushing), got to watch the midwife work her magic, and witnessed my friend’s incredible strength, commitment and courage in birthing her baby naturally.

I’m still flying high from this.  It was a difficult birth, with the baby positioned “sunny-side up”, and the poor Mama needing to work extra hard to get the baby out.  But despite the intensity of it all, it was a beautiful, beautiful experience.

Dear Mama, let’s face it: giving birth is one of the hardest, splitting-apart, soul-bending experiences we  women will ever have.  Giving birth stretches us, literally, to our limits.  It’s not only flesh and bones that are being stretched, but our minds, our limits, our stamina.  It’s frigging hard.

For me, giving birth three times were the most spiritual, empowering experiences I have ever had, and watching my friend go through it just reinforced this feeling.  I am so awed by us women.  I am so deeply touched by the strength and reserve we have to find in the face of so much pain and seeming impossibility of getting that baby out of our body.

Whenever something hard happens in my life, something so big and difficult that I’m scared I can’t bear, I feel back into the space I was in when I birthed my babies.  And I say to myself, “I could give birth, so I can do this as well.”  And it’s true.  There’s always deeper to dig, more reserves to be reached for, no matter how dire things seem.

Please let me say this: even if you didn’t have a home birth, or a natural birth, or even if things went wrong and you didn’t get to have the birthing experience you envisioned, you still grew a baby inside of you, got it out somehow, and have been nurturing it ever since it got born.

No matter what happened, you still created a being that relied on you for nourishment, nurturing and guidance.

Wow.  It’s a big job, this mothering.  It ain’t for the faint of heart.

I am proud of my friend, whose brow I wiped, face I stroked, and legs I supported when she pushed and pushed and pushed.  I am proud of myself for the way I gave birth to my own babies.  I am proud of you, too, no matter what kind of birthing experience you had, because the fact is: you are a mother.  You are doing it.

One more thing: I am incredibly lucky to be married to a man who supports me 100 percent.  He’s kind and sensitive and strong, and I wish that every woman had a man like mine by her side.  He supported me during my labors, and he did it well.

Many men don’t know how to handle the intensity and helplessness they feel when their woman suffers, and when they can’t make it better for her.  It’s hard for a man when she moans and yells during labor, when she tells him not to touch her in a particular way because she has to concentrate so hard during a contraction that she can’t stand anyone’s touch on her skin.

My husband was right there with me every single minute of labor, anchoring me to my body when the contractions threatened to sweep me away, communicating through his eyes the immense love he felt for me, even when I yelled at him not to breathe into my face.

I saw the same commitment on Easter morning, when my friend’s husband held her while she leant on him.  The quality of his gaze and his commitment to be there for her was just as I had experienced years earlier with my husband.

When the baby was born and settled in with mama, he and I stepped out of the room to fetch some things, and I told him how well he did supporting his wife.  He told me he felt like he didn’t help much, but I told him the truth: “You were her rock, and you were there when she needed you.  Believe me, you made all the difference.”

So here’s to us, Mama!  Here’s to our strength and resilience and willingness to do the work, even when it’s hard beyond anything we could have imagined.

Here’s to the people who support us, be it a husband, friend, sister, mother… no matter who we lean on, it takes a village.

Now it’s your turn: In the comments below, tell us about your birthing experience. What did you learn?