When things are hard, when you are feeling strong feelings, when you just can’t cope well, do you say to yourself “What’s wrong with me?”

Hmmm… Yeah.  I know this question well.  I used to tell myself this all the time.  What’s wrong with me??? Why can’t I just get over this depression, or not be so anxious all the time? Other people seem to do just fine, so why can’t I?

WHAT’S WRONG WITH ME???????

What if I told you there’s nothing wrong with you at all?  What if I told you that many other people feel like there’s something wrong with them, but they just don’t talk about it, so you think you’re the only one, and what if I told you that you are quite normal and human?

The problem is that you are asking the wrong question.  Asking yourself what’s wrong with you gives you absolutely no power and will drive you crazy.

See, I used to be convinced that there was something wrong with me, that I was bad, not good enough, and not worthy.  Over time, I transformed these beliefs, and my life has reflected that in all of its amazing flourishing.

But these false beliefs still rear their ugly, slimy monster heads every now and then.  For example, these past two weeks were insanely difficult, because my husband and I have been working through some deep, deep muck and issues that have been going on for the almost two decades of our relationship.  Hanging out there in the muck has not been fun.  I cried a lot.  I raged. I withdrew. I felt there was something really, really wrong with me.

At some point in one of my crying bouts, I yelled “What’s WRONG with me?”  I felt broken.

That’s when my husband took my snotty face in his hands and stroked my hair, all the while telling me that I was not broken (even though all these emotions were directed at him).  He reminded me that I was human, and that there was nothing wrong with me.

Duh.

Fortunately, I’ve had lots of training, and I was able to snap out of it and believe him.  I’ve had lots of experience taking other people through this mucky field of believing something that’s not true, and completely transforming it.  With the right support, you can transform and evolve the way you talk to yourself, the way you relate to yourself, others and the universe.

We all need someone to walk us through this, and I would be honored to do this for you. 

If you want my help, I urge you to book a FREE discovery coaching session.  I’m taking on a limited number of clients over the next few months, and if you need support, please reach out.

I just received an email from a woman I coached, and here’s what she writes:

“I put my beloved dog to sleep a week ago, and I have taken the last week to be quiet, to be sad or whatever emotion I’m feeling at the moment, with no judgment. I’ve taken this time to be kind to myself, to talk to the little girl inside me in a caring, loving, gentle and patient voice. I’ve allowed myself to grieve as well as to dream, and I’ve taken my dreams seriously and believed in them because I’ve watched them come true again and again.

I feel as if the Universe has my back, that the world is a beautiful place, death and all. I feel whole, human, loved, loving, caressed and cared for by the Universe and by many, many loving humans.

I’m glad I waited to write to you as I feel the sadness of the last week has deepened the gratitude I was already feeling for you. The strength of what you taught me over the course of 2018 in our phone calls has become even more clear through this time. I would not be faring so well, sharing what I’ve been doing to take care of myself, if it weren’t for you.

I had felt disconnected, abandoned, lost – as you said, I was letting the ten year-old me drive the bus – and your gentle strength reconnected me to all that is truly important, grounded me, brought hope and tools to continue getting stronger and more gentle and loving, to myself and others.

My relationship with my husband has turned from anxiety-provoking to jaw droppingly beautiful, graceful, passionate. My businesses are thriving. My self talk is kind(er), my heart is full of gratitude, and I see signs every day that the Universe has my back.

I have notes on my mirror with words you gave me, I have notes in my art room, someday to be turned into art or writing or to just continue to be written in my soul, that you shared with me and brought out of me.

I am so very grateful for you choosing to take the path you chose, for all the twists and turns and ups and downs your life has given you, so that you could be there to provide what you did for me and for others. I wish life didn’t have to be so hard for all of us, but what you have chosen to do with the difficulty – to reach out to others and help us reconnect with our light, our dreams, our needs, our LIFE – is incredibly brave, beautiful and honorable.

Thank you, from the bottom, sides, inside and outside of my heart and soul.”

I tell Kai that I’ve had a migraine all day, and that I’m extra emotional, but incredibly happy to help all these women and loving my coaching business so much.

Kai, not usually a touchy-feely guy, and in his usual dead-pan way, gives me a tender, crooked grin and says, “Corina Sahlin – changing women’s lives, even with a headache.”

This induces more happy tears in me, because I know that my son understands my deep, deep commitment and passion to help people.

Also, how’s that sentence for a tagline, huh?

Honestly, there’s nothing I would rather do than coaching women.

I’m not good at small talk. I can do it, I can hang out there, but I get bored and uncomfortable if the conversation hovers in the superficial realms too long. Where I really want to be is deep down, even and especially if it’s low in the muck and yucky shit we all deal with, because I’m not afraid of it. I welcome the struggle, because I’ve been in some pretty scary muck myself, and I’ve gotten myself out of it. Not alone, though, because we can’t become ourselves by ourselves. I’ve had amazing mentors, friends and evolutionary partners to support me, to teach me and hold me accountable.

I think at this point, my biggest message is that YOU ARE NOT ALONE, and you can’t do it by yourself. We all need guidance and perspective.  The weird thing is: Nobody is coming to rescue you ~ you have to learn to do it for yourself, and it helps to have the support of a guide!  And boy howdy, once you know the tools and practices to take care of yourself in a deep, emotional way, you are so much more empowered than waiting for your husband/friend/parent/relative to do it!

If you want to learn how to get out of the muck, how to really thrive and flourish (as I am now) you can book a free discovery session with me to see if this coaching work is a fit for you.

Oh, and today is my birthday! I’m officially 46 years old and moving towards having lived for half a century.

This thought is freaking me out a bit.

The other night around the dinner table, after I felt especially tired, my 8-year old daughter looked at me and said, “Mom, you look kind of old.”

Hmpf. Gotta find a way to teach that kid the art of giving constructive feedback, I guess.

And finally, that cake on top of this blog post? My 13-year old son Luke baked that for me, without any help or prompting from me.

I’m one lucky Mama.

Have a wonderful week!  And remember, you are not alone!