I want to tell you something really, really vulnerable, and it’s scary for me to share this here. But I feel like I NEED to share it. And I’m telling you not so that you’ll feel sorry for me, but for a specific reason, and you’ll see in a minute why.
Ready? Okay… Deep breath… Here it goes:
My childhood was pretty rough. I grew up in a house where our grandparents lived with us, and my grandfather was literally an alcoholic axe murderer. He had killed several of his pets in a rage, and he kept threatening to kill his wife, our grandma. I was and still am a very sensitive soul who picks up on everyone’s feelings, so you can imagine how my nervous system was on high alert all. the. time.
My mom and dad had four children within six years when they were still very young, and they were super overwhelmed and financially struggling a lot. My mom was depressed, distant and bitter, and my dad was unpredictable and controlling. I can’t remember either of them ever hugging me or telling me they loved me.
I was always a “good girl”, bringing home straight A’s and excelling in sports, but I never got praised for it. In fact, I got criticized frequently for anything that was less than perfect. And even though I was good and obeyed all the rules, whenever one of us four kids (all girls) did anything wrong, my father beat all four of us. This was supposed to build character.
I could tell you story after heartbreaking story, but I don’t think I need to. You get the picture.
As a result of all these experiences, I believed in my bones that I am never good enough, that I am not worthy, that I am not wanted, and that I am not safe. These beliefs have been core wounds of mine that cut very, very deep, and they created destructive and painful patterns in my life.
And this is why I’m sharing this with you: If you have some of these same core wounds, you know how devastating it feels when you are being attacked or shamed by someone, or when you don’t feel appreciated or valued. You know how incredibly painful it is when you feel that you are not wanted or don’t belong.
This last week, I felt attacked and shamed by someone I trusted. You know that feeling when you are really triggered, like you are gut punched? I swear, when that person confronted me with her wagging finger (just like my parents used to do), I literally felt my face burning with shame. It turned beet red, and I wanted to disappear in the earth. Or start throwing punches and attacking with a vengeance.
I’ve talked with many of my coaching clients who have had these experiences of being triggered, being emotionally or psychically gut punched. In the aftermath of that, it can literally feel like you are crazy or losing your mind, right? It’s the worst feeling!
We believe what the other person is saying about us is true, because this is what we learned when we were little. See? I am indeed not good enough, I am indeed not worthy, I am not wanted, and I am sure as hell not safe.
And then maybe there’s another part of you that doesn’t believe it, or that pushes back against it.
But it’s all just such a big balled-up mess, all smooshed together, and it’s painful, and it’s shameful, and it’s heartbreaking, and it’s confusing, and sad, and depressing, and hopeless, and it pisses you off, and you feel like you are going nuts.
And this is why I’m sharing this with you: There is actually a way out of this! Read on.
For me, in the past during the scenario where that person attacked me, I would have gone down a terrible shame spiral, and then I would have either hidden and felt completely resentful and not ever extended myself to someone again, hidden my light and played small.
Or I would have puffed up like a gladiator and wanted to beat the shit out of them. Not really, but you know what I mean? I would have attacked them with my words, yelled, cut them off and tried to get back at them, or completely severed the relationship.
That would have created a whole other mess and not worked in the long term.
Instead, I was able to calm myself down. I was able to stay more objective and see what was really going on. I didn’t blow up the relationship with this attacking person. I then reached out for support from people I trust, and they were able to mirror back to me the truth, which was immensely helpful. This way of showing up left my self worth and self esteem intact instead of destroying it. In fact, it got strengthened through this whole ordeal.
And this shift, this transformation is something everyone can learn. If I, the damaged, messed up Corina, can learn it, you can, too. I have immersed myself in the work of transforming my old beliefs and painful patterns for a while now, and I’ve created amazing, almost miraculous results because of it.
But I couldn’t do this by myself, and chances are if you are reading this, you can’t either. And there’s nothing wrong with that! We all need support, we need accountability, we need tools and practices and a system.
I would absolutely love to support you and teach you this system. It’s actually a step-by-step process that’s incredibly effective and powerful.
It has been a long time since I posted a blog here. It’s because 2020 kicked my ass more than any other year, except maybe that time when I was a teenager and got banned from our house by my father.
Anyway, back to 2020: it started with some heavy duty marriage trouble in January. It continued with our decision to leave our beloved homestead in the wilderness and move closer to civilization. We purchased a house in the Skagit Flats, and while we moved and cleaned and organized and tried to find renters, Covid hit full force.
At the same time, my life coaching job with Feminine Power heated up, where I rose to the top, serving as the senior coach for famous icons like Jean Houston in her Influencer’s Masterclass, and Claire Zammit’s Coaching/Facilitation/Leadership trainings.
So here I was, holding space for clients, while also juggling three kids at home who needed to navigate homeschooling in a different district.
Then our renters quit, and we decided to sell our homestead. Things heated up even more. I’ll spare you the details. It was all very, very intense. During all this time, I got felled by migraines regularly that had me throw up for 12 hours straight.
Fun stuff.
All to say: I bet 2020 wasn’t a cake walk for you either. In fact, most of the hundreds of women I talked with over the past year have felt isolated, alone, stressed out, confused, afraid, super pissed, hopeless and at the end of their rope.
I want to validate what a difficult year this has been for most of us.
Before I get into that, I want to name another thing that I’ve been hearing over and over from many of you. These times of Covid have forced many of us to really ask ourselves: Why am I here? Why am I on this planet, in this body, at this time in human history? What is my purpose here? What is my destiny? What is mine to do? You might be feeling the pull that there is something else out there for you.
Are you feeling that, too? And are you asking yourself at the same time: “How the hell am I supposed to figure that out?” You have no idea where to start. You are stuck, and that leaves you even more depressed and frustrated.
Here’s the good news: You can transform these feelings that keep you stuck and feeling powerless, and you can have the guidance, structure and support to take steps towards your destiny and purpose.
I know this because I LIVE It every day: despite all the intense stuff that has been happening, I’ve actually flourished. I feel like I’m in the center of my calling and my destiny, by supporting women like you. I am using the same tools and practices that I teach every single day for myself, and it has helped me not only survive, but thrive.
And here’s where the solution comes in: My dear, beloved friend Lindsay (licensed psychotherapist, wilderness guide and grief counselor) and I are offering a ten week online group coaching course to help you break through inner barriers, completely transform your life and fully step into your destiny.
We would love to be your coaches and mentors and guide you on the journey that’s necessary to grow yourself into the amazing woman you came into this world to become.
We are going to do that by teaching you the Feminine Power Framework that I personally used and have used with hundreds of clients with amazing results. When I learned this framework 11 years ago, just like we’ll teach in our ten week course, my life was un-recognizable afterwards.
11 years ago, I was in a really bad place: burnt out, depressed, hopeless… I felt like I should be happy, because I had a great husband, 3 wonderful kids, and a beautiful homestead and animals. I felt guilty for feeling so unsatisfied. I always felt that there was more to life than “just” my family, and I felt guilty for feeling that. When I started this Feminine Power work, I became aware of these old, limiting stories I lived life inside up until that time: that I’m not good enough, not wanted, not worthy. My life kept reflecting this back to me on many levels, and I couldn’t get traction in my life.
Inside of this Feminine Power work, I completely transformed these beliefs and started living from a deeper truth: that I am more than enough, that I don’t have to hussle to prove my worth, that I am deeply wanted. Inside of that new story, I began to relate to myself, life and others in ways that created a totally new reality for me. My relationship with my husband deepened. My mothering became so much more genuine and not rooted in guilt all the time. I healed my adrenal fatigue and burn out. My business started taking off, because I dared to make myself visible in a really authentic way. I started creating, writing and blogging. My blog was awarded one of the top 100 blogs worldwide on homesteading and sustainability! And I began making a huge impact in the world as a coach and leading retreats. Talk about stepping into my destiny!
But I couldn’t have done this by myself. I needed support, guidance, mentorship and community, and this is what we offer in our ten week course.
We will teach you the feminine way of creating, which is very different from the masculine way. We will help you set a powerful intention, where you get crystal clear on what you are most yearning to experience, create and contribute. Many of us are blocked there because we are so disconnected from our deepest desires, or because we are so rooted in non-possibility.
We are then going to identify the gap, the barriers that are in the way of this intention. We are going to get very clear on the pattern that has been keeping you from realizing your deepest desires.
That’s when it gets really powerful and transformational. We will dive deeply underneath your pattern at the level of identity, where you will meet the part of you that is stuck in old, limiting stories, like I’m not enough, I’m alone, I’m invisible, I’m not worthy, I’m not safe.
We will guide you deeply into powerful practices to break through this.
The work is about seeing how this is happening THROUGH you, and not TO you. Many of us are stuck in victimization without even realizing it, but when we take responsibility for how we are showing up with ourselves, others and life, that’s when things can really change.
This can happen fast! We don’t need years and years of therapy or meditating on our cushion to transform this!
Register early, because spaces are limited, and because you get early bird pricing! (By the way, tuition for this course is incredibly affordable, because we want to make sure you can step in!)
Are you a mother nearing the end of active child-raising years, wondering what’s next and how you get there?
Maybe you’ve been homeschooling kids for years and you’re transitioning to a new chapter in your life, personally and professionally.
Are you a mother of younger children, still committed to your caregiving role, but wondering how you’ll return to, or enter, the working world one day? Maybe you’re concerned you’ll be at a loss or disadvantage because of your child-raising years.
Maybe you’re a person, regardless of life stage or roles, who likes personal stories and memoirs of change, transition, growth and stepping into new seasons of life.
I wanted to let you know about a project I am involved in this month.
Second Bloom is a series of conversations hosted and produced by Renee Tougas, conversations with eight women (one of them Yours Truly) around the theme of transitioning to careers and vocations after life seasons of full-time mothering, homeschooling, and homemaking.
I was asked to participate because of my own transition from homeschooling mom into the work I do now.
I was interviewed along with seven other extraordinary ordinary women who have transitioned from homemaking and child-raising careers into training programs, bachelors, and masters degrees; women working in corporate professions, universities, and small businesses; writers, students, guides, helpers, musicians, designers, administrators, managers and healers.
Mothers with kids still at home and actively parenting tweens, teens and young adults. Mothers who have long launched birds from the nest. Mothers who homeschooled for a good portion of their children’s education, and some that didn’t at all. Mothers of two or three, or five or six children. Grandmothers.
All women with a strong commitment to that first career of homemaking and child raising, who have experienced or are experiencing a Second Bloom in midlife.
I am so excited to be a part of this project.
What can we learn together from the life experience and wisdom of women’s stories
You can listen to my segment, where Renee interviews me about my journey, struggles and triumphs here:
Renee Tougas interviewing me about my journey
To find out how you can listen to all eight of these conversations go to:
My beloved dog Chowder died unexpectedly. We rescued him from the animal shelter years ago, and he has repaid us with unwavering, unconditional love every single day.
I was his person. He loved me. He followed me everywhere, was my shadow, and not in a needy way, just in a “You are my person, and I shall forever devote my life to adoring you” sort of way.
Friday morning, I found him dead and cold, stretched out by the wood stove in front of the door, an image which has given me intense PTSD. I don’t wish this horror on anyone.
It has been two weeks since that morning, and time hasn’t relieved my grief at all. Maybe it has even gotten worse.
I had to teach and host a retreat at our homestead the day after Chowder died. I almost cancelled it, but eight people had signed up, some of them already on their way travelling up here from California. A rational part of me knew that pulling off this two-day retreat would help me get my mind off my grief, and it did. The participants were sweet, supportive, and let me cry whenever I needed to.
And then they left, and the sorrow really hit.
I could have powered through my days, keeping the coaching appointments already scheduled on my calendar, as many as four a day. The workaholic German in me, the one that even shows up to coaching appointments with a stomach flu, the one that is so proud of all her integrity and loyalty, she wanted to push through and show up for her clients.
But then there was the part of me that crumpled and had nothing left to give, and she won.
She was the one going into nature to cry by the creek, she was the one hiking up mountains to soothe her soul, she was the one reaching out to a select few people who she knew could be in her grief with her.
I’ve experienced grief before, oh yes, I have. And I know that time does heal, that time makes the feelings less intense and raw. I also know that grief can hit you years later, triggered by a memory, a place, a smell, a touch.
And yet, the force of my grief surprises me every time. How it knocks me down, how it makes me want to hide and isolate.
One of the second arrows of my grief is how I compare myself to others, how I fear their judgement. For example, although my kids cried that first morning when Chowder died, they seemed fine and normal, even able to laugh the same day. I found myself judging them, resenting them, even being angry at them for their reactions. Or I judged myself for the intensity of my feelings, wondering if this was normal, especially since other people can move on faster.
Another fear creeping in was that others judged me for the depth of my despair, that my feelings weren’t appropriate or acceptable. This has happened before, where I expressed my strong emotions and then people I trusted suggested I go on medication.
trusted suggested I go on medication.
Here is what I say to that: Fuck that!
If you are anything like me, if you are an empath who feels things DEEPLY, and if you wonder if you are too much, if your emotions are too much, let me tell you:
Your feelings matter. Your feelings are telling you something. Don’t let anyone EVER tell you how you should feel, or how deeply your feelings are deemed appropriate. We are all different, we feel things differently, and most importantly, we grieve differently.
The day of the retreat I sent out a message on Facebook, asking people for support in sending me prayers, love, light, or whatever energy they could spare so I could pull off this retreat. I received an incredible outpouring of love from my community. Many people shared about the depths of their grief when they lost a furry friend. This is real.
I was guided to a litter of Shih Tzu puppies, and a couple of days ago we drove all the way to Wenatchee to meet them and see if I could connect with one.
I did. She is the red one, a little sweetie, and she kept licking me. It looks like we’ll take her home in three weeks when she’s old enough. I will forever miss my Chowder, and I know that this little red puppy will steal my heart as well.
And I will allow this love in and not hold back, even though I know it will break my heart later on, unless I die first.
So dear one? Feel your grief. Express it. Let yourself be supported by people who get it. Take as long as it takes.
I’m popping in here to encourage you to book a free session with me if you have ever been called to get coaching from me.
Believe me, I know how hard is to make the choice to invest in yourself. I used to believe that it was selfish, that I was not worthy, and that I didn’t have the money to spend on my own improvement and self-actualization, but once I did begin with my own Feminine Power work, my life dramatically changed.
Ten years ago, I did exactly what I guide my own clients through – identifying the most painful pattern in your life, setting an intention, and learning specific, powerful tools and practices how to relate to yourself, others and the greater field of life/God/Universe/Sprit in ways that allows you to thrive in ways that you can’t even imagine now.
My life is now unrecognizable from a decade ago, so much better, happier and richer, both personally and professionally, and it’s because I engaged in this work myself.
As part of my journey, I have become a Feminine Power ambassador and Senior coach in our coaching organization, which has changed thousands of women’s lives. It’s so incredibly rewarding!
Since I’m very busy, and since I’m one of the most experienced coaches in the organization, it’s time for me to raise my prices to reflect my huge success with my clients.
And I want to give you the change to get in at my cheaper rates before I do that. I will raise my prices in four days – at the end of Friday, June 14. If you schedule your free discovery session before then (even if the session is scheduled for after Friday), and if you decide to step into a coaching relationship with me, I will honor the old, cheaper price for you.
You can sign up for the free session on my website (either on the top right, or scroll all the way down) by clicking HERE <—
And if you need an extra nudge, read my TESTIMONIALS page, where you can read how women’s lives transformed for the better because they did coaching with me.
I hope you will make the leap, or at least schedule a free session. You will know if it’s right. Don’t delay any longer, because you deserve support, thriving and happiness!
With so much love,
Corina
Certified Feminine Power Coach and Global Ambassador
The other day found me on the sofa, sobbing, yet again. This happens every month: a migraine, or whatever it is, that leaves me nauseated, utterly exhausted, sensitive to light, feeling sick like with a flu, and I can’t form a coherent thought. It’s debilitating. And since I’m usually so vibrant and healthy, this once-a-month ocurence really, really scares me.
Dear sister, dear friend, dear woman…. If you are anything like me and many of the women I know, you want to be healthy and vibrant… but you are suffering with PMS, menopausal symptoms, weird gut issues, maybe even IBS. You are so friggin’ ready for things to be better. I know I am.
At the tail end of this month’s sickness episode, I talked with Dr. Deborah Epstein, an experienced naturopath in my area. Talking with her gave me so much hope for healing this once and for all. She explained things to me in such an easily understandable way that I asked her to do a video call with me and record it, and invite you, if you want to come and ask her questions.
So we scheduled a video zoom call for June 29, noon Pacific Time, and we’d love for you to be there to ask questions!
If you want to attend the call, please sign up to be on the call, or to get sent the replay, click on the button below:
Just to give you an idea about the kind of things Dr. Deborah can help with, read on:
When your period comes do you find yourself:
Parked on the couch with a heating pad on your belly?
Curled up in a ball, trying not to move?
Snapping at your spouse and kids, because it’s hard to be yourself when you’re in pain?
Just plain “out of commission” for those special days every month?
Worried about money and your job, because you’re missing yet another day at work?
Popping pills that you’d really rather not take (because you know they’re a band-aid that just makes you more toxic), just to get through the day?
Terrified that the rest of your life is going to be this way?
Imagine…
Planning everyday events or vacations, without fear of last-minute cancellations
Participating fully in your kids’ activities
Not risking your income or job performance from taking too many sick days at work (or being crabby at your boss)
Focusing on living your life fully, instead of just getting by
Achieving this freedom without the use of pain-killers or birth-control pills!
Or here’s the other thing if you are dealing with gut problems:
Ever feel paralyzed by indecision about what to eat because you don’t know what will trigger your IBS? (And wish you could just eat without fear or anxiety?)
Decide you just won’t eat before important exams or meetings, because you can’t risk the monster belly noises or embarrassing smells? (And wish you could just live your life without planning absolutely everything around your traitorous gut?)
Feel better when you have a map in your head of all the known toilets on your route? (And wish you had the freedom to leave the house like a normal person, or even travel like you’ve been dying to?)
Have to wake up 2 hours earlier than you really need, praying you can poop before you leave the house? (And wish you could just live your right life, rather than organizing it all around pooping or not?)
Avoid invitations because every dinner out is a night on the toilet just waiting to happen? (And wish you could just have a normal social life?)
Know food causes symptoms, but stay in your rut, because you don’t believe it can ever be different? (It can.)
Know food causes symptoms, but resist change because deep down you’re afraid to give up foods you love? (You can love food AND achieve freedom from food triggers.)
My hormones have been shifting a lot, and I’ve been hammered with weird symptoms. I’ve been trying to see a naturopath about them, even did an Ayurvedic cleanse, but nothing has helped.
I started corresponding with her, and she invited me for a free talk over the phone to learn more about what I need.
I’m super excited about her online program, which starts June 6th, so I can discover my unique inflammatory trigger foods, understand my food sensitivities and finally heal my health issues.
Do you want to join me? This will NEVER be that inexpensive again!
It’s a whole-foods-based Cleanse/Detox program in your own home.
take herbs and supplements that support your body’s natural detoxification processes, and begin to balance your hormones, tojumpstart true health.
plan meals, prepare nourishing whole foods, and be supported through healthy lifestyle change;
receive lots of recipes and meal-plan support, so you’ll enjoy eating healthfully;
“attend” weekly conference calls, and participate in a private Facebook group online, in which you will get to ask questions, as well as give and receive help, feedback and support;
learn about the underlying reasons for cramps, and how you can access “the healer within” and build your own health;
be safely and expertly guided by a licensed naturopathic physician and get two 30 minute calls with her
I would love for you to jump in and do this together!!!
When you click on it, you will read more about IBS (Irritable Bowel Syndrome), but rest assured that this program also deals with the hormonal stuff I talked about!
If you are scared to do this, here are some FAQ’s in Deborah’s words:
I have a terrible sugar addiction. I’m scared I can’t do it.
You’re not alone; everybody goes in with this fear. I have tried and true techniques that solve this problem. While your first few days will require some willpower, you’ll learn how we use your physiology in your favor, so that you don’t have to rely on willpower as soon as the sugar shift kicks in. I also promise you’ll feel better as a result.
I’m a vegetarian. Will the program still work?
Yes. There will be plenty of food to eat, even for vegetarians. I’ll advise you on special preparation methods if necessary, to make it work best.
I’m traveling within the dates of the program. Can I still join?
It depends on the dates and how long you’ll be gone. Missing one of the Zoom sessions won’t be an issue, since you can watch the recording. But traveling can make the nutritional change tough. Let’s go ahead and schedule a conversation and talk about it. Include the dates of travel in the scheduling form.
I have a very physical job and can’t cut calories. Will I have enough to eat?
Yes! You won’t be hungry. In fact, hunger is an anti-goal of this course, and it is most definitely not a sneak calorie-cutting weight-loss program. The planning and prep portions of the course are designed to make sure you have plenty of the right food available, at the right times.
For the first and last time, this 6-week, highly interactive course (including 2 private sessions with Deborah) will be offered for only $497.
As a pilot program, it will intentionally remain small. She is capping enrollment at 12 students.
Over half (7) of those seats are already filled.
If you want one of the few remaining spots, let’s get on the phone and get all your questions answered, or figure out if it’s not for you.
Deborah is a doctor, not a salesperson. If you have questions, and it turns out the program isn’t right for you, she has exactly no interest in enrolling you.
You don’t have to go it alone. And you absolutely don’t have to collapse on your kitchen floor, crying and confused.
There’s nothing to lose. But you may regain your life.
