On Thursday, butterflies in my stomach woke me up and wouldn’t let me go back to sleep again. In fact, his happened every single morning for a whole week before Thursday. The reason: For months, I had planned to teach a free webinar on how to make Chevre cheese.
When I first came up with this idea, I didn’t know that I would have a worldwide audience of 800 people on Thursday, the day of the webinar.
And not only did I have this huge audience, but I also took a stand for my business: the stand to be visible and play a much bigger game. That can be really scary, right?
So I bet you believe me when I tell you I was nervous just before I hit the “Go live” button on the webinar. Once I started connecting with all the people waiting for me, I felt great. This is what I live for: teaching, connecting with people, delivering value, inspiring folks.
At the end of the free webinar, people were gushing about it, thanking me profusely, and signing up for my paid online cheese making course.
And I felt energized, proud to bursting, fulfilled, and re-inspired to take my business to a new level, thus serving more people and helping to change lives.
Here’s my point: I wasn’t always like this. I used to be extremely shy. If you know me personally, you are probably rolling your eyes and thinking, “Great joke, Corina.” You know me as a bubbly, outgoing, extroverted gal, right?
Well, deep down inside I am a full-blown introvert. Coupled with my old story of “I’m not good enough, I’m not wanted, and I’m not worthy of attention”, this would make for a pretty bad business person, don’t you think?
Inside of these old beliefs of not being good enough, not being wanted, and not being worthy, I showed up in the following way. If you have the same false beliefs, maybe you can relate.
- I didn’t allow other people to see me (I didn’t share my feelings, I covered up my feelings of inadequacy with false bravado)
- I was hiding (behind the computer, behind a fake smile)
- I didn’t pursue opportunities although I was qualified
- I downplayed my own value, talents and gifts
- I undercharged financially
- I assumed people didn’t want me to “play” with them
- I said “No” a lot, even though I wanted to say “YES”
- I didn’t promote myself, make myself visible, show up
Does this sound familiar? Are you doing some of that yourself? Why? How could you change that? Does it feel good to keep hiding and not going for your dreams?
Well, my darling, at some point, it feels like shit, doesn’t it? When everybody else is thriving and growing, and you wonder what the hell is wrong with you because you can’t shine like that, thrive like that, or own your own value like the “big players”.
Here’s what I want to tell you: If I can change this, you can, too.
You might need a little help figuring out the underlying patterns and beliefs, and the old ways of being that keep reinforcing your old identity. And that’s okay. We all need a little help. We all need support.
Maybe all you need to change your hiding is an awareness of being sick of playing small.
Maybe you gotta journal about it and ask yourself what you really are yearning for, and what’s holding you back.
Or you could pretend and act “as if”. Who would you be, how would you talk, what steps would you take if you were the person you want to be?
You could visualize yourself ten, twenty, thirty years into the future, as a fully self-realized, successful, happy woman, and then see what she has to say to your self in the present. What kind of advice would she give you? What skills and capacities do you need to learn and practice to show up like this fully expressed woman of your future?
Be gentle with yourself. Don’t beat yourself up. Just be curious!
Sending you much love,
PS: Oh, and if you want to watch the replay of my webinar, where I teach people how to make Chevre Cheese, you can do that here. For free, of course. But it ends on Sunday, so watch it soon.